This isn’t a happy post.
This is about the down side of my recent move.
One thing that I treasure about what I have done, picking up and moving and starting afresh in a new place is the insights it gives me into my life and the various different elements in it.
Now I generally feel pretty distant from myself. I feel things and they seem far away. It tends to be pretty hard for me to decipher feelings I have. Finding reasons for feelings or deducing how to feel or objectively looking at a situation has always been easy, just understanding what it is I am feeling is hard.
This is apparently typical of my star sign, the elements my birth chart aligns with, the things indicative of the year I was born in, a lot of different things agree with that. It’s all fairly irrelevant. It’s just how I am.
Normally I have an internet connection or phone calls aren’t expensive, so I can pretty much keep in contact with everyone. At the moment, I can’t practically do that. So where I normally feel in touch with everyone, now, I don’t. I really do feel isolated, which I’m sure is exacerbating things.
The point being, I feel pretty down and lonely. I am here in my room, which although furnished with my own stuff, feels a bit stark and sterile (even though the pile of dirty laundry in the corner probably is starting to get pretty far from sterile). I’ve been watching season 5 of scrubs (awesome I might add) in bed on my laptop (also awesome) and it highlights some of the things I really miss. Those things are people. If you’re someone who reads this, your probably one of the people I am talking about. (I may be sorely misrepresenting my audience, if you read this and I haven’t heard from you before, drop me an email or comment, or if you read this and haven’t yet emailed or commented ever… you know what you should be doing right about now)
Now scrubs I guess is where it starts. I love scrubs, I don’t know why. I just do. I like it so much it’s almost an addiction. Now I used to watch scrubs with people, sometimes without. But there was always someone to talk about it with, or make fun of the fact that I was awake all night watching a season or agree with me that it was worth it.
So, eventually getting to the point, I might feel crap, but I feel it strongly enough to know what it is, and it took scrubs to work out the reason for it, which is ‘damn I miss you guys’. Knowing that I miss you all is kind of awesome. You are all people that are awesome to have in my life. Missing that awesomeness is a crappy kind of awesome, but it’s still awesome.
Now I know, slowly I’ll meet more awesome people here and I’ll get more settled and an awesome person I met not that long ago will come over here and things will be more awesome. Until then, you guys rock.
For a downside, its pretty good.
Emo Stardust Signing off.
P.S: I always thought in some ways this wasn’t a proper blog, there were no totally depressed emo posts… to be fair there was one, but it was more in the nature of a joke. Now this blog is complete!
P.P.S: Can you imagine an emo post in norse prose? Can ya? Can ya!? That is sooooo in the cards!
P.P.P.S: Currently I am in Brisbane, with Kana, and quite happy, interenet has been sorted out back in Auckland and everything is going quite well.
If I had access to the internet earlier this week, this post would have been rocking your world earlier. As it is, it is up now. Much like a birthday card that comes a few days late handed to you by a friend with a vaguely guilty and lopsided smile as they say 'sorry'. The card probably have 'belated' written on it somewhere in large cursive gold type. This post also contrast a little with how I'm feeling at the moment, which is very happy.
I just have to say, its been awesome to see Kana again, and catch up with friends in a relaxed way, where I can merely enjoy their company and not worry about a myriad of things that are going on.
P.P.P.P.S: There is a emo norse post waiting to be posted :p