Thursday, August 31, 2006


You may or may not be aware of the inadequacies of my current residence. The people are ok, some of them, some of them are older out of work vagrants of slightly violent and erratic tendancies. Most are just older single and making a go of it.

The landlord is an invansive arsehole.

There is also no air conditioning and this is queensland... I have not yet been privledged to experience the hot weather yet.

House hunting occured.

There have been some interesting experiences.

such as awesome place, cool chick who has similar interests to me liing there... oh yeah by the way, your girlfriend cant come around too much. ....

Kinda cool place, too expensive, would be living with a ooollllddddd Feng Shui consultant, works at home, has a clipboard on one knee. Only organic cleaning products to be used. My friends might be round, they do alternative therapy stuff, crystal gazing, navel gazing, reiki and shit. After all that i find out tiny room, no aircon, very expensive....

Another place, lives a webdesigner and a video game reviewer with a day job, 74inch tv, board games, video games, regular bbqs and beer and pot. No aircon hot place, room like a cricket pitch.

another place, decrepid, disrepair, dirty, a band recording as I reached the door, 5 ppl, resident artist... cool, but not for right now. Maybe 5 years ago while i was in uni.

Last place i saw, boss's friend's place, older single white female, brand new townhouse, aircon in all rooms except mine and the study, spotless, immaculate, new, with dare furniture. Pretty nice. Oh yeah so your a friend of your boss, heh, known him for years, how long have you known him, only 4 months, ok, references please....

A unit in a unit complex, has a small pool, an island kitchen in the middle of a lake of living space, a split level air conditioner and two cool easy going aussie ppl around my age. You are the most decent person we have seen so far, when can you move in! Tomorrow!? AWESOME!

- Sunday in reality

Friday, August 25, 2006


I have been a slack arse. I am sorry. Although I have not promised or given an intention of how often I would blog, my intention was to blog every couple of days, minimum once a week...

I am less than impressed with myself,

Basically my life has just been full. Full of work. Full of my girlfriend, and full of me just not budgeting my time effectively enough and being tired making everything more difficult.

However it has not all been mundane. What I have described isnt mayhem.

So to recap... recently I went to melbourne, ate so much yum cha I was going to burst! Then i did it again the next day. All with my closest friends, much fun and food was had by all... except one.

This gluttony was interrupted by my little sis's 21st!

Happy birthday! (again)

There were like a hundred ppl runnning around talking and drinking and sometimes dancing and eat - generally having fun. Speaches were given, they were awesome, I wasnt told I had to give one... mine was all impromptu

Order: Jackies friends:
We've know jackie so long, and shes gone through so many girl phases, its pretty funny, the shopping phase, the ripped jean phase, the red cordial phase, the indie phase... etc

I've know jackie for longer. We have known her stages as well... we know the differently, crying, screaming, screeching, wailing, etc. however these stages were interspersed with lovely eyes, smiles and laughter and my speech continued a short while longer in the same vein, bringing em down and then back up again, like a kitten playing with its food.

Mum made a slightly rambling speech about how her poor little baby was so grown up and so independant and she was so proud of her grown up independant baby, is she going to be so independant she moves out?
*many ppl laughed, laughed so loud my sis couldn't ignor the jest*

People started to make too much noise through mums speech. So i told em shut up! or you wont get fed. Also gained many a laugh.

I have know ****** for 19 years, she was the only albino nigerian i could adopt. In the last 19 years ****** has been the sweetest, most obedient and polite child I have ever known. She always listens and does what she is told always helps out, is kind and considerate of others.... the list rambled on in kind for 5 minutes

Everyone cacked themselves laughing. Sarcasm is lovely. The speach was made while dad wobbled onto of a chair with a glass of claret in his hand.

Great round of speeches.

So Melbourne. Slower paced than last time, still jam packed, sooo much done.

I am getting a new car, shipped from melbourne, back, black mags, tinted windows, rear wing, nice cd player. Happy... when am i getting it? still in a few weeks :(

So back to QLD, i went to noosa again, cause one of my housemates moved out while i was in melb

I went to visit him with my girl. Awesome time. Sashimi picnic by the river, then the next day, surf club breakfast and playing in the surf. Caught a wave or 2!

Back to brissy. Work. Pleasure, work. Tired. My girl needs help with her assignments that are in english, I try and do work tired. I throw a party for my flatmate and my girlfriends friends

They want to meet aussie guys and have nice food. My flatmates want to make nice food and meet pretty asian girls!

Awesome menu. chicken satay skewers, prawn and chicken ceaser salad, bruchetta, rice, potato something

all made by a good chef (one of my flatmates)

checking out new places to live that arnt as hot, and have less crappy landlords

found one. Moving probably in next few days!


thats enough for now.

keep hasseling me to write more!

I'm sure the upcoming move and search for furniture will be worth viking prose

the looking for places to move to has also led me to a number of parties this weekend


Tuesday, August 08, 2006


I met Cleopatra Wong!

So like, i'm at this festival right? and they show flicks, right. And i've like bought some tickets, yeah? and ya know, i go and see some vids on a fully sic screen like and you know, its arty shit (the massuer) with gay poofda filipino dudes, dudeing each other and like calling in massage. Like massage your dick with ma lips, ya know? And i'm like what the fuck! and huh? I suppose it was ok... ya know, but there was like the dudes dad, and he was like proper fucked... like ya know... dead. and it was wierd.

So thens i say to ma girl, he babe, lets like check out dis other movie. Like your a nip, and this is like a nip flick. Yous gotta luv it babes! So we goes inta dis movie right, and the guy, he like goes, "its smut" like fully smut, like crazy silly smut, so i turns to her and i sayz, what crazy shit smut did you nips put tagethor. And like theres this nip chick, right and shes all like, "i'm teaching you and I dont give a shit, look at my titties" and this guy he's like frothing at the mouth and hes like "AAARRRRRGGGG!!!! Must FUCK!" and like in2 minutes of the movie, they are like fucking rabbits! Mutha fuckin rabbits! and shes like a fucking rabit for like the whole movie. Except she like shot! SHOT in da fucking head! Bang! Bang! popped! capped! whadeva da fuck you wanna call in! and still fucking like a fucking rabbit. And all these nips are like going off like shes got like space boobs thatr gi-fuckin-normous! and dey only like little bitty boobs, like you know, they be a decent handfull! but if she smacked ya in da head with em, they wouldnt give you consussion or nothing!

Soz, anyway. Dis chick, jap girl. Fucks everytime she breathes in right! and shot square in the fucken forehead, and walking the fuck around, goes fucken mental psychic and shit. Starts quoting philosophy and shit and rubbing her clit on books and shit. Has some wierd cloned fuckin finger of Fucking George fucking BUSH! and sticks it in her fucking hole in her fucking head! and then it like fucks her! Muther Fucker!

And there is the like dude, whos like stalking her to kill her and there are weapons of mass fucking destruction.! This shit is fucking wacked!


"The glamorous life of satchiko hanai"

soz, anywayz, I'm fuck! this festival is wack!

and i'm like soz, what now, and theres this movie called "they call her cleopatra wong". Like dis festival shit calls it a fucking "Sexploitation" film. Like I'z just watching some chick whos been topped fucking like a fucking rabbit and that shits called a "pink" film for da nips, and der was some gay filipinio masseur shit going on and that aint sexploitation, but this shit is! I'm like I gotta see dis shit!

No fucking way, its like some old fucking movie, like 1978, and dis chick right, shes like getting in on at 4 in da morning and i'm like fuck yeah, dis is da shit right, while dis gringo fuck he calls her and he's like get to fucking work and shes, like aww damn.

Soz, dis chick is like da bomb, she damn fine and she like kicking ass like she fucking bruce lee and shes like a spy. like james fucking bond except its all fucking filipino and singaporean! I mean muthafucka! dis bitch right! she gets herself captured and dis bozz man, hes like, i'm gonna sic you bitch on ma pets!

Wrestlers! Get her! I mean who da fuck has 3 huge, i mean massive huge ugly fucks covered in grease gropping each other on the bloody lawn! ITs completely wrong! and she like fully takes em apart! and then a fuckin school of karate fucks comes and she kicks der arses as well!

and like they talk in english! you can see the lips move! but some wankers from california tlak over them and fuck it completely! and like every one dies in slow moe!

Dis movie is like da bomb, right! and cleoptra was like in the movie! and she spoke to us and shes gonna make another one!

Dis bitch rocks, and I like went to her, like "please please please sign this here poster that you have given me of yourself cause you are fine!" and she was like "whats your name, ok"


Dis festival is da fucking bomb!

PS> Like MUTHER FUCKER! i completely like fucking forgot! like dis movie, da cleopatra one, the end of the movie, right?! everyone is like running around dressed as nuns with fucking AKs! shooting the fuck outa eachother!!!!! Mutha Fucka! its awesome! I mean, fucking NUNS!! NUNS! WITH AKS! WITH SPANISH FACES!!! AND DODGY MUSTASHES!!!!! AND EXPLOSIONS!!!! AND SLOW MOTION DEATHS!!!