BIFF!

I met Cleopatra Wong!

So like, i'm at this festival right? and they show flicks, right. And i've like bought some tickets, yeah? and ya know, i go and see some vids on a fully sic screen like and you know, its arty shit (the massuer) with gay poofda filipino dudes, dudeing each other and like calling in massage. Like massage your dick with ma lips, ya know? And i'm like what the fuck! and huh? I suppose it was ok... ya know, but there was like the dudes dad, and he was like proper fucked... like ya know... dead. and it was wierd.

So thens i say to ma girl, he babe, lets like check out dis other movie. Like your a nip, and this is like a nip flick. Yous gotta luv it babes! So we goes inta dis movie right, and the guy, he like goes, "its smut" like fully smut, like crazy silly smut, so i turns to her and i sayz, what crazy shit smut did you nips put tagethor. And like theres this nip chick, right and shes all like, "i'm teaching you and I dont give a shit, look at my titties" and this guy he's like frothing at the mouth and hes like "AAARRRRRGGGG!!!! Must FUCK!" and like in2 minutes of the movie, they are like fucking rabbits! Mutha fuckin rabbits! and shes like a fucking rabit for like the whole movie. Except she like shot! SHOT in da fucking head! Bang! Bang! popped! capped! whadeva da fuck you wanna call in! and still fucking like a fucking rabbit. And all these nips are like going off like shes got like space boobs thatr gi-fuckin-normous! and dey only like little bitty boobs, like you know, they be a decent handfull! but if she smacked ya in da head with em, they wouldnt give you consussion or nothing!

Soz, anyway. Dis chick, jap girl. Fucks everytime she breathes in right! and shot square in the fucken forehead, and walking the fuck around, goes fucken mental psychic and shit. Starts quoting philosophy and shit and rubbing her clit on books and shit. Has some wierd cloned fuckin finger of Fucking George fucking BUSH! and sticks it in her fucking hole in her fucking head! and then it like fucks her! Muther Fucker!

And there is the like dude, whos like stalking her to kill her and there are weapons of mass fucking destruction.! This shit is fucking wacked!

GO SEE IT!

"The glamorous life of satchiko hanai"


soz, anywayz, I'm fuck! this festival is wack!

and i'm like soz, what now, and theres this movie called "they call her cleopatra wong". Like dis festival shit calls it a fucking "Sexploitation" film. Like I'z just watching some chick whos been topped fucking like a fucking rabbit and that shits called a "pink" film for da nips, and der was some gay filipinio masseur shit going on and that aint sexploitation, but this shit is! I'm like I gotta see dis shit!

No fucking way, its like some old fucking movie, like 1978, and dis chick right, shes like getting in on at 4 in da morning and i'm like fuck yeah, dis is da shit right, while dis gringo fuck he calls her and he's like get to fucking work and shes, like aww damn.

Soz, dis chick is like da bomb, she damn fine and she like kicking ass like she fucking bruce lee and shes like a spy. like james fucking bond except its all fucking filipino and singaporean! I mean muthafucka! dis bitch right! she gets herself captured and dis bozz man, hes like, i'm gonna sic you bitch on ma pets!

Wrestlers! Get her! I mean who da fuck has 3 huge, i mean massive huge ugly fucks covered in grease gropping each other on the bloody lawn! ITs completely wrong! and she like fully takes em apart! and then a fuckin school of karate fucks comes and she kicks der arses as well!

and like they talk in english! you can see the lips move! but some wankers from california tlak over them and fuck it completely! and like every one dies in slow moe!

Dis movie is like da bomb, right! and cleoptra was like in the movie! and she spoke to us and shes gonna make another one!

Dis bitch rocks, and I like went to her, like "please please please sign this here poster that you have given me of yourself cause you are fine!" and she was like "whats your name, ok"

OMG!!!

Dis festival is da fucking bomb!

PS> Like MUTHER FUCKER! i completely like fucking forgot! like dis movie, da cleopatra one, the end of the movie, right?! everyone is like running around dressed as nuns with fucking AKs! shooting the fuck outa eachother!!!!! Mutha Fucka! its awesome! I mean, fucking NUNS!! NUNS! WITH AKS! WITH SPANISH FACES!!! AND DODGY MUSTASHES!!!!! AND EXPLOSIONS!!!! AND SLOW MOTION DEATHS!!!