...and much fun was had

And so it came to pass that Sigmund made passage through the sunblasted arid lands of the north, riding astride the behemoth like air chariot that parted the skies. When he came to land in a Hub-bub of activity, Brisbane. No one was informed of my arrival, and as such instead of the raunchus celebration of my arrival that I imagined, there were instead the odd tumble weed that blew down the deserted streets of Brisbane during the doldrums that was Brisbane during the epoch of the Easter, some festival of some new-fangled religion, popular in these remote parts.

As a result I passed my time getting to know the other blow ins at the half way house in the centre of town, in which all official vagrants seem to settle into. Often with strange baggage riding ontop of them. I found out that a number of these vagrants were fair settled in these parts as I allowed them to fleece me from my golden minted goods as I became familiar with the traditional amber brew in these parts.

After becoming more familiar with my surroundings by visiting the locale residences who had recently cleared out riff-raff and were looking to replace them, I began working at the transportation conglomerate. So far work has consisted of the view of mind numbing, spirit crushing television, voiced over powerpoints and instruction videos. Many new pieces of plastic have been issued to me, allowing me to get into all sorts of places. These bits of plastic have been fasttracked to me, as many are careful to inform me, indicating that there was some anticipation of my arrival. I have been told this level of competence and organization is unusual, it reeks of 'good vibes' I am feeling relieved, happy, welcome and have some cynicism lurking around the edges looking for catches. A plethora of people have been introduced to me, most of which seem interested to see the new guy. The people I will work with have been introduced to me. When not in a training session, I find myself joking around with these people and crapping on, quite often about the training and paperwork I need to go through and how much of it I should forget and ignore. The parts about not using offensive or discriminatory language have been emphasized, as bullshit which I can throw out the window, as with ties, unless someone people from other areas in the organization are around (the ties stay out the window, unless really important people from other companies are about.

I have been given the run down on the shenanigans that occur within the office, maliciously placed stationary, lotions applied to telephone handsets, black contact on monitors, the list is quite numerous. So far I have not experienced any of this first hand. What I have experienced is a new computer a flat screen millimeters thin, would some cardboard support structs, complete inappropriate emails, very well printed out replicas of a wireless mouse and keyboard. I have the lastest in flatscreen and miniaturization technology at my disposal.

There appears to be a master of the multishot rubberband handguns disguised in my workplace. He has revolutionized office politics the way the 6 shooter revolver revolutionized gun fighting in the West. His accuracy is uncanny.

They havemade me feel comfterble enough to tell some of the grosser jokes I know. I am somewhat disappointed to know that they already know the punch lines.

Apparently I am due to start doing actual work next week. Strangely enough I am also looking forward to this.

I am calling out to all of you in the digital wonderland. I need some new material, the dirtiest and foulest jokes you know, the best office pranks you know how to pull or at least have heard of. I need to compete! Let the comments section expand exponetially with your filthy and disturbing input. All I ask is that any comments are well written, so that I and anyone else can understand them, without additional explanation.


P.S: oh, I have also found a place to live, I pay money tomorrow and sign impressive documents of paper and will sort out the moving in after that. Its nothing special, fairly clean, have a room to myself... (single bed, soooooo not cool), huge wardrobe (important for me), fairly nice looking on the inside and outside, a bath with jets (almost a spa), close to work and a lock on my door to keep out all the other vagrants and degrenerates who probably live there (3 others in all, 1 of whom is apparently always absent, that one had to be the girl). Soon I will move out of the backpackers and have to say goodbye to all of the pretty backpackers from all over Europe and Asia that I have become fond of seeing *sigh*