Wednesday, April 26, 2006

The ramblings of the spikey haired one

Things are not quite as crazy now as they have been. I have my own place, I'm turning up to work. As expected, although I know lots of stuff, I don't actually know any of the stuff I need to be practical or productive. I am working on that at the moment, much Access and databasy stuff.

I do not however have my own computer, much as it bewails me to admit it. This however does provide me with the opportunity to flex my corporate muscles and find out what it is like to salary sacrifice something. "Salary Sacrifice" To me it sounds like something a sufficiently high level thief can do as a special move in final fantasy.

I have experienced my first night in Brisbane that was too cold to bear with merely a sheet and a faux mink fur blanket. Unfortunately shops are closed tonight, which should have similar weather. Fortunately someone I live with is lending me spare blankets. (I feel decidedly un-yuppie) Tomorrow is the shopping spree. I had a dilemma, what kind of bedding should I spring for?

Sleeping bag - The ultimate in cost effectiveness, it would always be useful to me (as I do not have one yet)

Blankets - still very cost effective, one can always apply more blankets

or the Doona - Doonas rule. I have been known as "Doona-Boy" however there is an awesome queen size doona waiting to be sent up to me, as soon as I have a bed big enough to support it... the ultimate in luxury.

As I haven't been paid yet I was slightly unsure of which manchester choice to make... I, who generally shy away from making unnecessary decisions asked someone for whom the decision was easy. Doona it is.

I now have a pleasant surprise. When I was not expecting much company, someone from Melbourne is coming to visit me. Mystery and fun abounds. Is it you!!! Is it someone you know!!! Do you know nothing and want to know everything!!!

If so please deposit $5 in the assigned PayPal donation link and prepare to be astounded by the mystery and sordidness of it all!!! MUHAHHAHAHHAHA

The truly dastardly thing is, I don't have a PayPal thingy, or any kind of monetary donation system set up at all!!!

"Feints within feints within feints, seemingly without end" - Frank Herbert, Dune

Otherwise I have been avidly going out and drinking as much local stuff as possible, meeting as many interesting locales and peoples from afar. I went to Supernova and bumped into Melbournians... "...there's no place like home, there's now place like home..." - someone, some movie. some of whom I knew, some of whom I didn't.

The locales here are very laid back and helpful and nice. I met a dark lacy goth girl, some pool sharking people who invited me into a mixed netball team, only to be kicked out of the team (them, not me, I didn't get a chance to accept the invitation as it were) and for no particular reason I keep bumping into Japanese exchange students who are impressed by the remarkably small amount of Japanese I know, not to mention protoss playing Koreans (I bait them with zergling jokes).

My pool playing is getting better and more erratic, I can play well enough to beat someone who is good at one game now. However, that appears to be my limit for a given night and then I play approximately, not dissimilar to a drunken 3 legged dyslexic donkey with an inner ear imbalance and bad depth perception. Possibly alcohol may have been responsible for some of those characteristics, or pretty girls flouncing around distracting me.... erm, not me, I mean the theoretical donkey - yeah, that's right.

I may have also told some locales I won the cos-play at supernova, this did not in fact occur. It was however very amusing. It was also very suprising to see people I knew on stage. I did get my hair done for free at supernova, I had a moehawk made, with fiberglass gel, I was blown from one end of supernova to another with my makeshift sail. Damn new hair product promotions, damn them to hell. There was however one girl whose hair was made into a pillar from which sprang leaves of hair, somewhat similar to a kangaroo paw (the flower, not the animal part), this particular hair feature towered a meter above the poor, but pretty girl, who did seem to on the cusp between extreme shock and exuberance. On the train back I slipped and fell forward and almost cut someone up quite badly with my spikes.

Anzac day. Had a beer for the diggers. Nothing interesting happened.

I'm thinking of adding pictures to this thing.... that does mean I will have to start taking photos... give me some feedback.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

...and much fun was had

And so it came to pass that Sigmund made passage through the sunblasted arid lands of the north, riding astride the behemoth like air chariot that parted the skies. When he came to land in a Hub-bub of activity, Brisbane. No one was informed of my arrival, and as such instead of the raunchus celebration of my arrival that I imagined, there were instead the odd tumble weed that blew down the deserted streets of Brisbane during the doldrums that was Brisbane during the epoch of the Easter, some festival of some new-fangled religion, popular in these remote parts.

As a result I passed my time getting to know the other blow ins at the half way house in the centre of town, in which all official vagrants seem to settle into. Often with strange baggage riding ontop of them. I found out that a number of these vagrants were fair settled in these parts as I allowed them to fleece me from my golden minted goods as I became familiar with the traditional amber brew in these parts.

After becoming more familiar with my surroundings by visiting the locale residences who had recently cleared out riff-raff and were looking to replace them, I began working at the transportation conglomerate. So far work has consisted of the view of mind numbing, spirit crushing television, voiced over powerpoints and instruction videos. Many new pieces of plastic have been issued to me, allowing me to get into all sorts of places. These bits of plastic have been fasttracked to me, as many are careful to inform me, indicating that there was some anticipation of my arrival. I have been told this level of competence and organization is unusual, it reeks of 'good vibes' I am feeling relieved, happy, welcome and have some cynicism lurking around the edges looking for catches. A plethora of people have been introduced to me, most of which seem interested to see the new guy. The people I will work with have been introduced to me. When not in a training session, I find myself joking around with these people and crapping on, quite often about the training and paperwork I need to go through and how much of it I should forget and ignore. The parts about not using offensive or discriminatory language have been emphasized, as bullshit which I can throw out the window, as with ties, unless someone people from other areas in the organization are around (the ties stay out the window, unless really important people from other companies are about.

I have been given the run down on the shenanigans that occur within the office, maliciously placed stationary, lotions applied to telephone handsets, black contact on monitors, the list is quite numerous. So far I have not experienced any of this first hand. What I have experienced is a new computer a flat screen millimeters thin, would some cardboard support structs, complete inappropriate emails, very well printed out replicas of a wireless mouse and keyboard. I have the lastest in flatscreen and miniaturization technology at my disposal.

There appears to be a master of the multishot rubberband handguns disguised in my workplace. He has revolutionized office politics the way the 6 shooter revolver revolutionized gun fighting in the West. His accuracy is uncanny.

They havemade me feel comfterble enough to tell some of the grosser jokes I know. I am somewhat disappointed to know that they already know the punch lines.

Apparently I am due to start doing actual work next week. Strangely enough I am also looking forward to this.

I am calling out to all of you in the digital wonderland. I need some new material, the dirtiest and foulest jokes you know, the best office pranks you know how to pull or at least have heard of. I need to compete! Let the comments section expand exponetially with your filthy and disturbing input. All I ask is that any comments are well written, so that I and anyone else can understand them, without additional explanation.

P.S: oh, I have also found a place to live, I pay money tomorrow and sign impressive documents of paper and will sort out the moving in after that. Its nothing special, fairly clean, have a room to myself... (single bed, soooooo not cool), huge wardrobe (important for me), fairly nice looking on the inside and outside, a bath with jets (almost a spa), close to work and a lock on my door to keep out all the other vagrants and degrenerates who probably live there (3 others in all, 1 of whom is apparently always absent, that one had to be the girl). Soon I will move out of the backpackers and have to say goodbye to all of the pretty backpackers from all over Europe and Asia that I have become fond of seeing *sigh*

Sunday, April 16, 2006

The going away

Well, there I was waking up with a hangover, feeling strangely great as I shook off the remenants of not enough sleep in my family house, a place I had avoided sleeping in for many a year. Showering and shaving and eating, my family and I eventually managed to gather together the last few things I needed, shove em into my cases and we were off, slightly late to the airport.

On the way we picked up Michael. My flatmate for the last 3 years, who proceeded to hit me repeatedly for things that occurred the night before at the going away party. There were friends and drinks and suprises. Nice suprises. Which is why Michael was punching me. Possibly also the guy equivalent of saying "I'm going to miss you"

The party was however the best ever going away party I have had! Highlights of which were getting someone to try tequila shots for the first time and finding out someone I like likes me. Cool finding out, truly sucky timing.

Let me not forget the send off. All my family and some of my closest friends were there and lots of bags. It was very moving to see them there as I left. I have not started missing them and am generally excited and positive about being in Brisbane. Although considering how many calls I'm making to people back home, I may be concealing something from myself.

Either way, now I am in Brisbane. I have been going out, drinking and spending money, having fun and meeting some cool people. Somewhere amidst all of this I am also looking for places to stay. Calling and navigating the public transport and getting to know Brisbane a little better in the process. So far I have only seen 2 places, I should be seeing 2 more tomorrow. 1 place I didn't like so much, it just didn't feel right, although it was in the right price range and the right location. The second was really nice, too far away and too much money, unless I can get someone else into the second bedroom.... Ah, decisions, decisions.

signing off with some heat exhaustion,

Sigmund :p

Friday, April 14, 2006

Goodbye Melbourne, I'll miss you

This is my final Melbourne post. These last few days have been very eventful. Much has happened. It seems like the smallest thing that has happened is that all my worldly possession are packed up into boxes and a few suit cases, and that I’m ready to go.

The timing of the move has meant that it has been Pesach. For those of you who don’t know what Pesach is it’s a Jewish festival based on the events portrayed in the movie “The Ten Commandments”. In layman’s terms, that’s a lot of eating and drinking and singing and praying (although the last one tends to be skipped over).

So all in all much family orientated action. This did not overshadow the final catching up with many a friend and acquaintance. Some of these times happened over a coffee, some over the dismantling of my old sound system, some a bon fire and some over shopping.

Some of these events will be blurred forever into my mind, along with copious quantities of alcohol.

At one of these events brought certain things to my attention. Although I will not discuss the circumstance here, let me merely say that this is the one area of my life where I welcome adversity, strife and drama. The advice from friends on this matter was varied, split almost down the middle between “Go for it!!!!” and “Nah your leaving soon” one piece of advice stood apart from the rest “There’s nothing to go for, it’s a trick”. What was my position you ask? Did I act? I am still unsure, I’ll get around to making up my mind, really I will. Honest.

Look, it’s not what you think. I mean, I would have acted, if I had time, I was leaving in a few days, still almost unpacked… that had to come first… I guess, and all those other people bustling around trying to get a chance to see me off… I was busy.


Never the less, on an unrelated topic, I’m all packed up, leaving my poor, poor computer behind. I may begin suffering withdrawal soon.

Posting to y’all from Brisbane soon, Ye’HA

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Computer Modeller

This is what I will be doing; Taking off the top half of my suit and having exactly 16 hours of stuble while photos are taken of me atop the most recent products from various PC companies.

It would be very degrading except for the money thrown at me.

(much more interesting i think than an explanaion of operations research and mathy computer stuff


While riding high on the novelty of net publishing I wish to credit Jennifer and Robyn for some of the push i needed to get this thing up and running.....

and jen again for her awesome going away comic

while i'm here, i'd also just like to wish for world peace and i'd like to thank the children, their sparkly hopeful eyes giving every person the deep and well founded desire to improve.......


I may have just become truely enamoured with the ease in which i can publish my words, and then see them!!!!! I hope I don't go overboard

The new era

Slowly the debris that makes up a life is being cleared and packed and prepared for storage or travel. Old friends are reunited only to know that they will part again. Melancholy and excitement intermingle.

It's a very silly business all together. It all seems to be moving along, slightly left to the last minute, with full awareness that something will be forgotten and go unrealized until just a little too late.

Most bits and pieces are replaceable. Most things can be bought anew, except the memories that go with them.

My library of books is packed away to gather dust. I will not be looking at them and flicking through them for a while. I collected them and read them for so long, they are my oldest friends. Leaving them feels empty, almost like betrayal.

I am being a little silly. I know that this mean I have lots of room left in this new life to buy more books that can be later added to the other books and so on until one day... I HAVE THEM ALL!

By the way, this is my first blog, be gentle and comment gratuitously.

An era ends

And so an era of my life draws to close.

I am leaving behind my friends and family, places and comforts and a life I have been comfortable with. So you can follow my progress forward I will summarize what I have been.

  • An amateur guitarist with aspirations of grandeur
  • A martial artist of little acclaim
  • A thinker of big things
  • A star in my own private soap opera (since I’m moving to balmy Queensland, Australian soap opera law dictates that I will return to dramatize again)
  • A reader of books
  • A writer of fiction with little drive and much laziness
  • The master of constructive laziness (I remain reasonably fit so that everyday activities aren’t tiresome)
  • A traveler of anyplace but home
  • A computer scientist
  • A student of teaching
  • A birthday party leader
  • An electronics wiz (in training)
  • An instigator of irritation of masterful dimensions
  • The holder of dark and sarcastic wit
  • A master of cheesy comments and lines
  • A critic of movies who has yet to put words down in byte or pen
  • A gamer of worldly proportions
  • A mocker of all things
  • A procrastinator of incredible proportions

(There may be pockets of pretentiousness around here that need to be aired out)

This is what was. Stay tuned to see what will be.

(Any friends and family, who wish to keep in touch with me, my comings and goings and any interesting events, keep an eye on this page.)